p u r n i m a
11-10-2008, 12:50 AM
Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else.
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
>-------------------------
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun lives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.
>-------------------------
Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
>--------------------------
Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.
>---------------------------
Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.
>--------------------------
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?"
one Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
>---------------------------
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ? "
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in his hand."
>---------------------------
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
>---------------------------
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
>---------------------------
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged,will you give me a ring?"
"Sure, " replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
>----------------------------
Customer? : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter? : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
>---------------------------
This is something I saw on TV the other day.
A duck walks into a 7Eleven store and asks the clerk
Duck: Do you have any Cawfee ?
Clerk: No
Duck: Do you have any Cawfee ?
Clerk: Didn't you hear me...I said NO
Duck leaves and comes back the next day
Duck: Do you have any Cawfee ?
Clerk: No
Duck: Do you have any Cawfee ?
Clerk is really annoyed now and yells at the duck
We don't have any cawfee. If you ask me that on more time, Iwill staple your legs to this counter.
Duck leaves and shows up the next day.
Duck: Do you have any staples ?
Clerk: No
Duck: DO YOU HAVE ANY CAWFEE ?
>---------------------------
TEACHER: If you found five pound in one pocket and ten pound in the other, what would you have?
WILLY: Somebody else's trousers on
>----------------------------
Four tortoises were playing poker when they ran out of beer. They pooled their money and sent the smallest tortoise out to fetch the beer.
Two days passed and there was no sign of the tortoise.
"you know, Tommy is getting really slow now days", said one of the tortoises.
A little voice from just outside the door said, "if you're going to talk about me I won't go.
>----------------------------
Richard: Would you punish someone for something he didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Richard: That's good. I didn't do my home work last night
>----------------------------
Q.Why has Bush stopped dining in Pakistani restaurants?
A.Coz he heard the waiter asking, "Sahib, Bill Laden (Ladein)?"
:clap:
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
>-------------------------
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun lives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.
>-------------------------
Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
>--------------------------
Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.
>---------------------------
Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.
>--------------------------
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?"
one Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
>---------------------------
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ? "
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in his hand."
>---------------------------
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
>---------------------------
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
>---------------------------
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged,will you give me a ring?"
"Sure, " replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
>----------------------------
Customer? : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter? : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
>---------------------------
This is something I saw on TV the other day.
A duck walks into a 7Eleven store and asks the clerk
Duck: Do you have any Cawfee ?
Clerk: No
Duck: Do you have any Cawfee ?
Clerk: Didn't you hear me...I said NO
Duck leaves and comes back the next day
Duck: Do you have any Cawfee ?
Clerk: No
Duck: Do you have any Cawfee ?
Clerk is really annoyed now and yells at the duck
We don't have any cawfee. If you ask me that on more time, Iwill staple your legs to this counter.
Duck leaves and shows up the next day.
Duck: Do you have any staples ?
Clerk: No
Duck: DO YOU HAVE ANY CAWFEE ?
>---------------------------
TEACHER: If you found five pound in one pocket and ten pound in the other, what would you have?
WILLY: Somebody else's trousers on
>----------------------------
Four tortoises were playing poker when they ran out of beer. They pooled their money and sent the smallest tortoise out to fetch the beer.
Two days passed and there was no sign of the tortoise.
"you know, Tommy is getting really slow now days", said one of the tortoises.
A little voice from just outside the door said, "if you're going to talk about me I won't go.
>----------------------------
Richard: Would you punish someone for something he didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Richard: That's good. I didn't do my home work last night
>----------------------------
Q.Why has Bush stopped dining in Pakistani restaurants?
A.Coz he heard the waiter asking, "Sahib, Bill Laden (Ladein)?"
:clap: