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View Full Version : Hue gulabon se dosti toh kanton ke chubhan ko jana


risky
06-25-2008, 07:33 PM
HuE GuLaBoN Se dOsTi tOh kAnToN Ke cHuBhAn kO JaNa
KiYa cHiRaG RoShEn tOh gHaR ApPeNa JaLa nAzEr aAyA

KhAw mErE MeIn tAmAm rAnG Or tArAnG MeRi thee
UsH TaRaNg mEiN FeR FaSaNa uShKa dIl mEiN DhEkA

FiZaAoN MeIn uReTa rAhOoN HaR DaM LaHaRoN Ke tArAh
EaAn lAhErOn mEiN DuKhOoN Ka jAaL FeR ApPeNa dHeKa

MoHaBaT MeIn uSh kE SaB BhUlLa rAkHa tHaA MaInE
MiLe kUcH FeR YaIsE JaKhAm kE HaR SaH Ko dHeKa

KhUlA AaB YeH RaZ YaArOoO Ke mOhBaT KaR DeTi nAkAm
BaN JaAtA HaI FeR TaMaShA HaR SuBaH ShAaM HoTaI DhEkA

Princess
06-26-2008, 06:08 AM
Great write... loved reading it...

though a few change of words will make it a perfect write

I know you have just let your emotions flow here and not bothered to set it up... which is also a great way of writing.... but since you have used the word 'dekha" in all the verses but the first one... i just had to comment...